We live in a time where attention is currency, self-promotion is rampant, and true generosity is often overshadowed by the hustle of individualism. The old ways of connecting through kindness, mutual support, and community-mindedness often feel outdated, even naïve. But what if we could reset the culture? What if we could revive the spirit of giving, not by asking people to sacrifice more, but by aligning generosity with real, tangible reward?
It’s time to retire the outdated “Givers Get” mantra, not because it was wrong, but because the world has changed. The new rallying cry? Connectors Get Paid.
The problem with traditional giving
For decades, business networking was built on the principle that if you give freely, good things will come back to you. A solid philosophy, so long as you are the lucky one. Unfortunately, more often than not, people don’t see the reciprocation.
I can attest to that first-hand. After 25 years in countless networking groups, I was always one of the top givers. I always prioritized handing out referrals and building relationships. And what did I get? A few framed certificates. Recognition, yes. But reward? Not really. The imbalance wasn’t just about me. It reflected a bigger issue: a system that expects people to give endlessly with no structural support for reciprocity.
In today’s hyper-distracted world, generosity needs fuel. People aren’t giving less because they’re selfish; they’re giving less because they have a million things happening simultaneously, and giving just isn’t at the top of the list anymore.
The rise of incentivized generosity
Let’s be real: People are motivated by outcomes. When you introduce someone to a business opportunity and they close a five-figure deal, shouldn’t your effort be worth more than applause?
That’s where the “Connectors Get Paid” model comes in. It flips the script. Instead of relying on goodwill alone, it introduces a fair and simple system: You make a referral. If it results in business, you get paid.
It’s not about greed; it’s about equity. And it works. So why do we still treat referrals as favors rather than the revenue-generating engines they are?
Changing behavior, strengthening communities
This isn’t just about money. It’s about creating a culture where people are excited to help again because it makes sense, because it feels fair, and because it pays off.
When there’s a clear value exchange, hesitation disappears. Awkward requests post-introduction dissipate. That moment of “Should I introduce these two?” turns into “Absolutely, let me connect you.” And instead of losing members to burnout or indifference, communities retain their strongest contributors. They become ecosystems where generosity is nurtured, not drained.
Technology makes it real
This vision wouldn’t work without the right tools. In the past, tracking referrals and payments was messy. But now, platforms can automate the entire process, from tracking introductions, monitoring outcomes, and facilitating payments between members.
What used to be a casual favor is now part of a self-sustaining ecosystem. Whether it’s a coworking space, a mastermind group, or a professional association, communities can now offer structured, transparent ways to turn goodwill into growth.
It’s not “transactional” — it’s transformational
Some critics say this approach makes relationships too transactional. But what they miss is this: People thrive in systems where generosity is respected, not exploited. We’re not removing kindness from the equation; we’re reinforcing it with fairness.
Incentivized giving doesn’t make communities cold or corporate. It makes them engaged and resilient. It ensures the people doing the heavy lifting—the connectors, the introducers, the givers stay energized and engaged.
The cultural reset we need
Look around: People are more siloed than ever, more guarded with their time and their networks. We need to rewire how we relate to each other, not by demanding more selflessness, but by creating models where giving feels good again.
“Givers Get” was the mantra for another era. “Connectors Get Paid” is the model for now. It’s not just smarter, it’s sustainable. And it just might be the cultural reset we all need.
Joe Mindak has built businesses for over 25 years in industries from marketing and publishing to music, events, and tech. His latest venture, Nolodex, is a platform designed to turn meaningful introductions into mutual wins, redefining the way communities connect and grow.
Photo courtesy Getty Images for Unsplash+
